Poetry Collection #3

and everyday i took a different path,

but somehow

it always led me back

to you.


 

my hands were stained

with white, fluffy clouds,

the fresh, green grass,

and all the memories of you.

 


 

you were the storm

in my clear sunny day.

you were the tsunami

in my salty ocean waves.

yet i let you in

because you were also the air

that i so desperately needed to breathe again.

 

xo, jessica

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dear 2017

dear 2017,

You were one of the craziest years of my life. So much had happened, both good and bad. I went through a lot. I’ve also grown so much.

So I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for teaching me to give it all I’ve got if I want to accomplish my dreams. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself and in my work. Thank you for teaching me to slow down, take a deep breath, and take one step at a time. Thank you for bringing the most amazing people into my life. Thank you for giving me so many amazing opportunities. Thank you for showing me the importance of hard work.

Looking back at my journal, I can see that I really focused on myself this year. I wanted a chance to reinvent myself and feel like me again. However, I also lost myself towards the end of the year. I was in a strange and unfamiliar place that I am only starting to come out of now.

This year, I pierced my ear again, read more than ever before, went on a weeklong vacation with my family (over 20 of us), applied to colleges, got my first (and second) job, went camping, started my senior year of high school, got into 9 colleges, and became an adult (!!).

I am finally in a happy place in my life. I want to continue down this road, and make 2018 even more memorable than 2017.

dear 2018,

I promise to make you wonderful.

first q&a !

A few weeks ago I asked you all to ask me some questions for a Q&A, and now I’m here to answer them!

What book(s) made a huge impact on you as a kid and now?

When I was a kid, one of my favorite books was The Hunger Games. I was obsessed with it and it was one of the first books that I actually couldn’t wait to get my hands on. I was in 6th or 7th grade when I read it, but I think it would be so interesting to re-read it and see if my opinion has changed at all.

Now, there are way too many books that have had an impact on me. To name a few- To Kill A Mockingbird, The Hate U Give, The Princess Saves Herself in This One.

Has a book ever derailed you and completely changed the course of your life?

No, a book has never completely changed my life. There are definitely books that have changed my mindset or made me see things from a new perspective, but not enough to change my life around.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I am planning on going to college to be a public relations major, so I would like to be something under that field. Possible a publicist or a public relations manager. I also hope to be an author, which would be my ultimate goal in life.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

I don’t collect anything now, unless books count. When I was younger, I used to collect many random things- rocks, nail polish, etc.

What is your favorite poem and favorite form and why!

I have so many favorite poems. There are honestly too many to choose. One of them is haiku #2 from Madisen Kuhn’s book “Eighteen Years”. I also really love poems by Amanda Lovelace.

I don’t have a favorite poetry form though. I like any style, as long as it is well written. What I look for in poetry is just emotion and an ability to relate to the subject.

If you’d like to answer any of these questions in the comments, feel free to do so! I’d love o know your answers.

Also, I hope you all had a very merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and an amazing holiday season!

See you soon.

xo, jessica

end of the year goals !

I can’t believe it’s already December. This year went by insanely fast but I feel like so much had happened. 2017 was just wild. I am ready to embrace the new year with open arms and see where life takes me.

By the way— my next post is going to be a Q&A so ask me questions on this post if you want!

I have some things left to accomplish by the end of this year still, so here’s to hoping i can complete them all.

  1. Read 65 books- i have already read 63 books, which means I only need to finish 2 more books in about 2 1/2 weeks. I have started multiple books that I have yet to finish, so I should finish at least 2, if not more.
  2. Develop a routine for blogging- I started working a real job back in September, and ever since then, blogging has been extremely difficult. I need to work on setting up a schedule every week so that I don’t fall behind all the time.
  3. Write 35 pages in my journal- I have multiple journals, but I have one that is strictly dedicated to writing poems. I have about 30 pages written in it, but I want to write 5 more. I haven’t done a lot of writing recently, so I want to get around to it.
  4. Finish watching The Carrie Diaries- Yes, this is my third time watching this show, but I can’t get enough. I have less than 1/2 of the second season left, so it shouldn’t take me long to finish.
  5. Start Working Out Again- I haven’t worked out on my own in a really long time. I started fitness in gym class this marking period, so at least I work out a little bit. I really want to get back in shape and actually feel motivated to work out.

journal entries about writing

the thing about writing is that sometimes you feel as though you have nothing to write. you think your words are not worthy enough to be put on paper. but writing is for you. it does not need to meet anyone’s standards. all that you need is a pen and a thought. we all have plenty of those. the rest will follow naturally.

when i write, i can feel all the energy inside me flowing. i feel powerful, indestructible.  words are a vital part of my existence. i would be incredibly lost without them. there’s something inside me that draws me to this art form constantly. this need i have for writing is inescapable.

put the pen to the edge of the paper, my dear, and let the words flow out of you. they don’t need to be perfect, but they still deserve to be said.

 

xo, jessica

17 things i learned being 17

On November 15th, I turned 18. That is INSANE to me. I am officially an adult. This past year has been all about growing and learning for me. I have definitely changed as a person, friend, writer, blogger, and student. Not only did I get my license, but I also started my first official job, finished my college applications (and even got some acceptances back already), and so much more. I know that I will continue to grow everyday, but I wanted to do this post so that you guys can hear some of my advice (no matter what age).

  1. take care of your body.
  2. do what makes YOU happy
  3. it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out
  4. crying does not make you weak!!
  5. not everyone is meant to stay in your life
  6. be kind to everyone
  7. mistakes are okay
  8. don’t be afraid to show people you care
  9. write everyday
  10. you can say “no” without making up excuses
  11. get off of your phone sometimes
  12. don’t be so negative all the time
  13. don’t let the little things bother you
  14. embrace the future, don’t let it scare you
  15. you are the only one who can make things happen for yourself
  16. stay humble
  17. you are doing just fine

Each of these little lessons/reminders have helped me live a less anxious and happier life. I struggled a lot at the beginning of the year with anxiety and stress, but these tips were really useful. I hope you keep these in mind, and I hope they help you out!

xo, Jessica

change | journal excerpts

Change has always been a good thing to me. I have embraced it with open arms every time. I can not even imagine a life where I am stuck with the same routine day after day. I do not want to sit behind a desk and watch my life pass me by. I want a career where I can explore different paths daily and have new adventures. I’m not sure where life will take me just yet, but I hope that it will bring me to change. Because change is the only constant that I want in my life.

//

I keep telling myself that my life won’t really start until I’m older. When I have a real job, and I’m living on my own. But life is short. And I don’t know how long I’ve got. So what am I waiting for? 17 years of precious time have gone by. It is time to go out and make something of myself. Live a little more. While I still can.

//

Her eyes lit up when she talked about it. She was so passionate about the art she created, and she couldn’t get her mind off of it. The happiness she felt when a paintbrush was in her hand was enough to make anyone smile.

– jess

notes from my journal

i stared up at the white, wispy clouds. the sky was a beautiful shade of ocean blue. you sat beside me and took in all my features. all my imperfections. i turned to look back at your emerald eyes and smiled. we were surrounded by the world, yet you still told me i was the most beautiful sight. i never felt as full and happy as i did in that moment. you handed my all your thoughts wrapped in a neat bow while i let out my deepest secrets in an explosion. we were total opposites. but when you said those 3 words, i knew that opposites really do attract.

i fall in love with the idea i create of people, rather than who they truly are. i have too much faith in people and in love. i am definitely a romantic. i try so hard to make relationships work, expecting people to change. i get my hopes up and end up disappointed every. single. time. it also makes it so much harder to get over someone. i only want to believe they are good-hearted, rather than face reality. but i would always choose to be full of hope than completely hopeless. because maybe true love really does exist.

you don’t have to have it all figured out. in fact, you shouldn’t. life is messy. life is unpredictable. things don’t ever go according to plan. just embrace every moment with a positive mind and see where the world takes you. the universe always has a plan.

you finally told me everything i always wanted to hear, but i realized it didn’t matter. i’m not the same person as a year ago. i know who i am and what i want. it just isn’t you anymore. and i’m sorry to myself that it took so long to realize my worth. but i’m okay now. i finally got the closure i needed so desperately and i can move on with my life. it truly is freeing to feel this way. i can finally be happy and be myself again.

ending

july

This month has been filled with so many new experiences for me. I spent a week at a beach house in North Carolina, which was super relaxing. It also gave me a chance to reflect on the past month. Here are some of my favorite things.

Watching

  1. Gilmore Girls- I decided to finish rewatching this show because I wasn’t in the mood to start something new yet. My love for it was just as strong as the first time, and I am glad I watched it again.
  2. The Silence of the Lambs- This movie is insane. I can’t believe I haven’t watched it earlier. I highly recommend checking it out!
  3. Jaws- Another movie I can’t believe I haven’t watched earlier. It made me slightly terrified of the ocean for a few weeks, but I have recovered.

Reading

  1. Zines- I have been reading so many zines this past month. Zines are mini magazines that are DIY’d and can be on any topic you choose! I have both been making them, as well as buying them! My current favorite shop is Quietly Written on Etsy. My favorite zine is the Write It Down one! It was a great read.
  2. Shatter Me series- I read the first book “Shatter Me” last summer I believe. I kept promising myself that I would finish the series but I didn’t get around to it until now. I just finished the 3rd book and I am so happy I decided to continue it. The second book was my favorite of the three, and I can not wait for the next 3 books to come out.

Listening

  1. Lorde’s Album (Melodrama)- This whole album is absolutely incredible. Lorde’s music is always amazing, and this album is no different. I began listening to it a lot more this month.
  2. H.E.R. (Every Kind of Way)- I was introduced to H.E.R. by my friends and I fell in love. My favorite song at the moment is Every Kind of Way!
  3. Madison Beer (Dead)- This song is SO good. I haven’t listened to Madison Beer much before this song, but I will probably be checking out more now!

IMG_5033

Other

  1. Acrylic Paint- Painting has always been a part of my life in the form of watercolors, but I decided to explore other mediums. My obsession has been acrylic paints this month. I have so much more control with the artwork I create.
  2. Minimalism- I am definitely not considered a minimalist. I am the biggest hoarder ever. I have been reading a lot on the topic, however. I have made an effort to get rid of the unnecessary clutter in my life this month. So far, it’s working!

 

That’s all that I have for my favorites! I hope you check some of them out :) What have your favorites been?

ending