journal with me #5

It has been a very long time since I’ve done a journal with me post! I haven’t been in the mood to journal at all in the past few months, and I honestly can’t pinpoint why. I want to say it is a lack of motivation rather than inspiration, but I can’t really say what it is. I actually do feel both motivated and inspired. But my energy has been more focused towards my blog, writing/reading, and health/fitness. Journaling just hasn’t been a top priority like it used to be, and I just don’t find it as fun.

However, I missed a day of school this week, and I felt like getting back into it, even if it just with one page. I miss the feeling of satisfaction after completing a page, so I knew I wanted to at least try to work on it.

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I began by adding some cardstock paper with some different designs on the blank page and just filled in a quote I liked. Then, I found a magazine clipping that I really liked and trimmed the edges around to fit onto the page and I ended up really liking the look.

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Then, I added some washi tape and another magazine clipping, as well as some lines around the girl. As you can see in the next picture though, I ended up not liking what I did, so I used acrylic paint to black it out instead.

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This definitely suited my style a lot more, and I am so pleased with the result! As for the finishing touches, I just added some little stickers, and I topped it off with another quote! Sometimes I fill empty space with some of my writing, but I was lacking the inspiration at the time.

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chat with me

I know it has been a while since I’ve done one of these, but would you guys want me to post some more soon? Please let me know, because I only want to do them if you’d be interested :)

Xo, Jess

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Poetry Collection #3

and everyday i took a different path,

but somehow

it always led me back

to you.


 

my hands were stained

with white, fluffy clouds,

the fresh, green grass,

and all the memories of you.

 


 

you were the storm

in my clear sunny day.

you were the tsunami

in my salty ocean waves.

yet i let you in

because you were also the air

that i so desperately needed to breathe again.

 

xo, jessica

dear 2017

dear 2017,

You were one of the craziest years of my life. So much had happened, both good and bad. I went through a lot. I’ve also grown so much.

So I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for teaching me to give it all I’ve got if I want to accomplish my dreams. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself and in my work. Thank you for teaching me to slow down, take a deep breath, and take one step at a time. Thank you for bringing the most amazing people into my life. Thank you for giving me so many amazing opportunities. Thank you for showing me the importance of hard work.

Looking back at my journal, I can see that I really focused on myself this year. I wanted a chance to reinvent myself and feel like me again. However, I also lost myself towards the end of the year. I was in a strange and unfamiliar place that I am only starting to come out of now.

This year, I pierced my ear again, read more than ever before, went on a weeklong vacation with my family (over 20 of us), applied to colleges, got my first (and second) job, went camping, started my senior year of high school, got into 9 colleges, and became an adult (!!).

I am finally in a happy place in my life. I want to continue down this road, and make 2018 even more memorable than 2017.

dear 2018,

I promise to make you wonderful.

2018 goals

I am a huge goal setter. I set daily, weekly, and monthly goals for myself all the time because I like to keep myself motivated with them.  So naturally, I had to create this post because the beginning of 2018 is now upon us. I know 2017 wasn’t the best year for everyone, but that just means we can only go up in 2018. Besides the things that were going on in the world, I changed a lot in 2017. However, I am looking forward to 2018, and I hope to change more than just myself- I want to change the world.

And now, the reason you clicked on this post- my goals!

Say “yes” more

I say no to going out and doing things a lot. I am a homebody, and I need time for myself in order to recharge. I haven’t been spending a lot of times with friends over the past couple of months, especially since I started working. Over winter break, I finally had the rest I needed, and I feel like I am ready to go out again.

Go on more adventures

Like I said before, I stay home a lot. When I do go out, it’s always to the same few places, and I don’t mix it up a lot. This year I am hoping to change that. I want to explore new places in my town and in my state. I want to step out of my comfort zone and see all the different sights there are to see.

Use my film camera more

Over the summer, I bought a film camera, and since then, I have only developed one roll of film. I want to take more pictures and actually use the camera, since I spent a lot of money on it. I want to take the pictures so I can turn them into physical memories. I just need to remember to bring the camera with me.

Spend Less money

I have been a shopaholic my entire life. This is my worst trait in my opinion, because it means when I finally have some money, I impulsively buy way too many things that I don’t even need. If I only follow one resolution, I want it to be this one. Wish me luck (I’m really going to need it for this one).

Read for quality, not quantity

In 2017, I read a total of 65 books. My goal on Goodreads was 50, so I definitely surpassed that. However, I was constantly picking up the shorter books from my TBR in order to finish more books. I don’t want to read like this in 2018, because I don’t want reading to be a competition. Therefore, I set my goal to only 1 book this year so that I can still keep track of what I read, but without the added stress of reaching a goal.

Get organized when it comes to blogging

Way back two years ago, when I first began this blog, I was so organized. I planned out each post, I scheduled them weeks in advance, and had all my pictures taken and ready. Now, I write blog posts in a hurry because I find that I never have time to write them. I want this to change. I want to go back to producing quality content. Hopefully this first post will begin this challenge. I also want to get a routine and a schedule for posting.

chat with me

Those are all of my goals for this year. What are some of your resolutions?

xo, jessica

first q&a !

A few weeks ago I asked you all to ask me some questions for a Q&A, and now I’m here to answer them!

What book(s) made a huge impact on you as a kid and now?

When I was a kid, one of my favorite books was The Hunger Games. I was obsessed with it and it was one of the first books that I actually couldn’t wait to get my hands on. I was in 6th or 7th grade when I read it, but I think it would be so interesting to re-read it and see if my opinion has changed at all.

Now, there are way too many books that have had an impact on me. To name a few- To Kill A Mockingbird, The Hate U Give, The Princess Saves Herself in This One.

Has a book ever derailed you and completely changed the course of your life?

No, a book has never completely changed my life. There are definitely books that have changed my mindset or made me see things from a new perspective, but not enough to change my life around.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I am planning on going to college to be a public relations major, so I would like to be something under that field. Possible a publicist or a public relations manager. I also hope to be an author, which would be my ultimate goal in life.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

I don’t collect anything now, unless books count. When I was younger, I used to collect many random things- rocks, nail polish, etc.

What is your favorite poem and favorite form and why!

I have so many favorite poems. There are honestly too many to choose. One of them is haiku #2 from Madisen Kuhn’s book “Eighteen Years”. I also really love poems by Amanda Lovelace.

I don’t have a favorite poetry form though. I like any style, as long as it is well written. What I look for in poetry is just emotion and an ability to relate to the subject.

If you’d like to answer any of these questions in the comments, feel free to do so! I’d love o know your answers.

Also, I hope you all had a very merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and an amazing holiday season!

See you soon.

xo, jessica

end of the year goals !

I can’t believe it’s already December. This year went by insanely fast but I feel like so much had happened. 2017 was just wild. I am ready to embrace the new year with open arms and see where life takes me.

By the way— my next post is going to be a Q&A so ask me questions on this post if you want!

I have some things left to accomplish by the end of this year still, so here’s to hoping i can complete them all.

  1. Read 65 books- i have already read 63 books, which means I only need to finish 2 more books in about 2 1/2 weeks. I have started multiple books that I have yet to finish, so I should finish at least 2, if not more.
  2. Develop a routine for blogging- I started working a real job back in September, and ever since then, blogging has been extremely difficult. I need to work on setting up a schedule every week so that I don’t fall behind all the time.
  3. Write 35 pages in my journal- I have multiple journals, but I have one that is strictly dedicated to writing poems. I have about 30 pages written in it, but I want to write 5 more. I haven’t done a lot of writing recently, so I want to get around to it.
  4. Finish watching The Carrie Diaries- Yes, this is my third time watching this show, but I can’t get enough. I have less than 1/2 of the second season left, so it shouldn’t take me long to finish.
  5. Start Working Out Again- I haven’t worked out on my own in a really long time. I started fitness in gym class this marking period, so at least I work out a little bit. I really want to get back in shape and actually feel motivated to work out.

17 things i learned being 17

On November 15th, I turned 18. That is INSANE to me. I am officially an adult. This past year has been all about growing and learning for me. I have definitely changed as a person, friend, writer, blogger, and student. Not only did I get my license, but I also started my first official job, finished my college applications (and even got some acceptances back already), and so much more. I know that I will continue to grow everyday, but I wanted to do this post so that you guys can hear some of my advice (no matter what age).

  1. take care of your body.
  2. do what makes YOU happy
  3. it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out
  4. crying does not make you weak!!
  5. not everyone is meant to stay in your life
  6. be kind to everyone
  7. mistakes are okay
  8. don’t be afraid to show people you care
  9. write everyday
  10. you can say “no” without making up excuses
  11. get off of your phone sometimes
  12. don’t be so negative all the time
  13. don’t let the little things bother you
  14. embrace the future, don’t let it scare you
  15. you are the only one who can make things happen for yourself
  16. stay humble
  17. you are doing just fine

Each of these little lessons/reminders have helped me live a less anxious and happier life. I struggled a lot at the beginning of the year with anxiety and stress, but these tips were really useful. I hope you keep these in mind, and I hope they help you out!

xo, Jessica

little chat + update!

Hey everyone!

I wanted to write a little post updating you on my life and where I’ve been. My last few posts have been very short, generic, and not very personal.

School has made me extremely busy, especially with this being senior year. It is important for me to keep my grades up for this semester since colleges will see these grades. I have finished all of my college applications, but that took up most of my time in the beginning of October.

I also started a new job at the end of September, about a month from today. That has taken up so much of my time. I used to have my weekends free so I would plan and write out all of my posts. Now I work 8 hour shifts and it is hard to manage writing. When I come home, I am usually exhausted and don’t want to do anything. I am trying to work on my time management now that I have a new responsibility, but adjusting to my work schedule is a bit tricky.

Anyways, my new job has also sparked the creativity inside me a bit. I work at Michaels, so I am constantly surrounded by paint, crafts, and washi tape. I have been using my watercolors a lot this month, so maybe I can share some of my art soon.

I also have a new journal with me coming up in a few blog posts, because I know I haven’t done one in FOREVER.

Overall, I have really felt inspired to create, I just haven’t always found the time to share it. Hopefully I will be able to post more frequently soon, and I will be back on my game!

Thank you all for being so patient.

xx, Jess

change | journal excerpts

Change has always been a good thing to me. I have embraced it with open arms every time. I can not even imagine a life where I am stuck with the same routine day after day. I do not want to sit behind a desk and watch my life pass me by. I want a career where I can explore different paths daily and have new adventures. I’m not sure where life will take me just yet, but I hope that it will bring me to change. Because change is the only constant that I want in my life.

//

I keep telling myself that my life won’t really start until I’m older. When I have a real job, and I’m living on my own. But life is short. And I don’t know how long I’ve got. So what am I waiting for? 17 years of precious time have gone by. It is time to go out and make something of myself. Live a little more. While I still can.

//

Her eyes lit up when she talked about it. She was so passionate about the art she created, and she couldn’t get her mind off of it. The happiness she felt when a paintbrush was in her hand was enough to make anyone smile.

– jess

notes from my journal

i stared up at the white, wispy clouds. the sky was a beautiful shade of ocean blue. you sat beside me and took in all my features. all my imperfections. i turned to look back at your emerald eyes and smiled. we were surrounded by the world, yet you still told me i was the most beautiful sight. i never felt as full and happy as i did in that moment. you handed my all your thoughts wrapped in a neat bow while i let out my deepest secrets in an explosion. we were total opposites. but when you said those 3 words, i knew that opposites really do attract.

i fall in love with the idea i create of people, rather than who they truly are. i have too much faith in people and in love. i am definitely a romantic. i try so hard to make relationships work, expecting people to change. i get my hopes up and end up disappointed every. single. time. it also makes it so much harder to get over someone. i only want to believe they are good-hearted, rather than face reality. but i would always choose to be full of hope than completely hopeless. because maybe true love really does exist.

you don’t have to have it all figured out. in fact, you shouldn’t. life is messy. life is unpredictable. things don’t ever go according to plan. just embrace every moment with a positive mind and see where the world takes you. the universe always has a plan.

you finally told me everything i always wanted to hear, but i realized it didn’t matter. i’m not the same person as a year ago. i know who i am and what i want. it just isn’t you anymore. and i’m sorry to myself that it took so long to realize my worth. but i’m okay now. i finally got the closure i needed so desperately and i can move on with my life. it truly is freeing to feel this way. i can finally be happy and be myself again.

ending